I’ve wasted so much time worrying about what I look like. Recently, I pulled out all of my old journals dating back to 1998 and tore out every single page filled with complaints about my weight or negative thoughts about my appearance. Let’s just say—I ended up with quite the pile to burn.

Over the years, I tried countless diets. Some lasted a week, a few made it three weeks, but none of them ever stuck. They say it takes 21 days to form a habit—well, apparently my body didn’t get the memo. For most of my life, I hated looking at pictures of myself because I thought I looked fat. Sometimes, I even skipped outings because I couldn’t find anything to wear that would magically make me look skinny.

I can’t tell you how many times I swore I’d never eat another chip, never drink another glass of wine, never touch bread again. I’d even ask my husband to hold me accountable, and he’d just roll his eyes and say, “Yes, dear.”

And here’s the truth: all that worry cost me joy. I missed out on fun, laughter, and experiences because I believed I didn’t “look good enough.”

The miracle diet? It doesn’t exist. The easy fix? Doesn’t exist either. What does exist is the choice to finally love myself as I am. My body hasn’t magically changed, but my perspective has. It’s time to stop obsessing over appearances and start focusing on being healthy and kind to myself.

We’re all born with different body types, and we’re all constantly changing. The real work is to honor who we are and treat ourselves with compassion.

How To Stop Worrying About What You Look Like

Health isn’t about following someone else’s plan—it’s about finding your own rhythm. Pay attention to what your body likes and dislikes. Discover what movement feels good and what foods give you energy. Above all, be kind to yourself and make smart, sustainable decisions.

Move Your Body

I started Pilates with a friend of mine, Renee Exner of Everyday Pilates. I loved it so much that I quickly went from once a week to twice! Pilates makes me feel strong and confident. My husband, my dog, and I also walk together a few times a week. That may not sound like much, but it works for me right now. My clothes fit better, and I feel better.

What might work for you?

• Take the stairs at work

• Park farther away and walk

• Wake up early for a run

• Play tennis or golf with a friend

• Dance in your living room

• Aim for 10,000 steps a day

• Commit to just 30 minutes of movement

It doesn’t have to be perfect—just consistent.

Be Smart About Food

I’ll be honest, food is still a struggle for me. But I’ve learned to pause and make choices moment by moment. Should I grab toast and peanut butter, or take the time to make oatmeal with fruit? Do I really want that second glass of wine? Do I need a second helping?

Planning ahead makes a huge difference. When healthy food is ready and waiting, it’s so much easier to skip the “bad stuff.”

The American Heart Association recommends:

• 5 servings of vegetables

• 4 servings of fruit

• 6 servings of grains

• 3 servings of dairy

• 3 servings of healthy fats

• 8–9 servings of poultry, meat, or eggs per week

• 2–3 servings of fish or seafood per week

• 5 servings of nuts, beans, seeds, or legumes per week

Bottom line: eat more fruits and vegetables, and listen to your body.

Don’t compare yourself to others

Related Post: How to Avoid Comparison Traps

When you worry about how you look, you’re almost always comparing yourself to someone else. If you were truly content, it wouldn’t matter whether you were smaller or larger than another person. As Rebecca Campbell writes in Light is the New Black: You were not born to be like someone else. You were born to be you.

Life is not about being perfect. It’s about being real, honest, and authentic.

We often compare the worst of ourselves to the best of others—and that’s a game we’ll never win. Instead, let’s quit being so mean to ourselves.

Love Yourself

Related Post: Love Yourself First To Live Your Best Life

God made me in His image, just like He made you. That means we are all beautiful. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that every day.

Don’t talk negatively about yourself. Don’t pick apart your photos. You’d never tell your best friend, “Wow, your arms look huge in that picture”—so don’t say it to yourself either.

Focus on the beauty. Celebrate what makes you unique. Let’s stop chasing “skinny” and instead aim for happy and healthy.

I know I should eat less, exercise more, and love myself while I do it. Honestly—we all know what to do. The challenge is simply to start doing it.

I don’t want to waste any more time hating my body. I want to live long, live joyfully, and live marvelously for myself, my family, and my friends.

As Kelly LeVeque reminds us in Body Love:
“Accept who you are, love who you are, and build a lifestyle focused on health, not some abstract idea of perfection.”