I loved becoming a mom. 30 years ago, my first child was born. My husband and I had nieces and nephews, and I had done my share of babysitting them, but bringing home your own baby to keep alive 24/7 was a different story. Now, my oldest child has a son of his own, and life is about to get more magical. I wrote a post for him when he got married, so I thought I would follow it up with advice to my son on becoming a dad for the first time.
Although my grandson’s journey is a little different than anything I experienced with my own children, these tips are universal. Right now, his son is in the NICU because he decided to join our family 12 weeks early. Many people are praying for him right now, and I know he can feel the love because he is doing great. We will patiently wait for him to fully develop and be ready to go home.
Advice To My Son on Becoming a Dad
Love with all your heart
If you are frustrated, scared, tired, or confused, take a deep breath, and show love. Hug him, listen to him, care for him and reach out to others who love him for help. But let everything you do come from the unconditional love you have for him.
Rest and Sleep When You Can
Even if some other chores aren’t getting done, it’s harder to be calm and present when your baby and wife need you if you are not rested. Until baby boy is sleeping all night, ask for help to get the other stuff done. Your friends and family want to help, and if you ask them for something specific like mowing the lawn, doing laundry, cleaning the house, holding your baby, making some meals, etc., they will come running.
Be Mindful of Your Wife’s Needs
In your case, your wife will be home during the day while you work for the first few months. And while the baby sleeps a lot, it may appear that she isn’t doing anything around the house all day. But let me tell you, being responsible for a human being that depends on you for everything is exhausting. Give her breaks to have some me-time. Feel free to call Grandma if you need help.
Be a Hands-On Dad
I do not doubt that this will be easy for you, but be sure to participate in every facet of care. Dressing, playing, bathing, feeding when you can, diaper changes, calming him down, and cuddling. Your dad and I used to take turns on the messy diapers! Any chance you can be one-on-one with your baby boy creates a deeper bond and positive relationship.
Parent the Child You Have
Your baby boy is a unique individual, and you have no idea right now how his life will play out. I can imagine you have many ideas of how you would like it to, but rarely do those two look the same. Unconditional love is known as affection without any limitations or love without conditions. That means you will love him whether he plays baseball or learns ballet. Whether he wants to go to college or travel the world. Whether he decides to marry and have kids or not. But the key here is that if you are raising him in a supportive and loving environment, he will want to be like you. This brings me to my next piece of advice.
You Are Always Teaching Your Child Something
Children learn from their parents. They form beliefs about life-based on what they are taught. So, be aware of the beliefs and thoughts you are holding on to and passing down. Are they true? Are they positive? Do you want your child to repeat your pattern? Or can you open his world to choose something different, new, and exciting?
Pay attention to how you value honesty, appreciation, diversity, challenge, compassion, and love. They are watching you. We, as grandparents, will try to do the same.
Stop and Enjoy Every Moment
It’s cliché to say this, but time goes by fast, and your son will grow up before you know it. You may be in a hurry to get through each stage, but don’t be. Cherish each one. Take lots of pictures.
Be present with him at each stage. You have a life to live too but do your best to make both your life and his as marvelous as you can.
Finally, shoot to be a self-proclaimed Father of the Year every year. Your dad says he holds that title all the time. Whether it is true or not, I think it means that you love being a father and will do what you can to be available for your son.
I’m so excited for you, and I am so happy to be his grandma. I cry every time I think about giving him his first hug and kiss. I know you will be a great dad, and this advice to you, my son, on becoming a dad is from years of experience. For now, do the best that you can!
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