Picture this scenario – You have known for a few days that you are going out to a party on Saturday night. You have something in mind that you might wear, but don’t do anything until about an hour before the party when you are getting ready. You grab what you thought would work, only to try it on, look in the mirror, and decide it is awful. The next thing you grab is even worse. You feel ugly and tell yourself that you shouldn’t go to the party because you don’t have anything to wear. Your spouse tells you to hurry up, and you throw something on not feeling good about yourself and not reflecting on who you are.
How does the party go? You either hide in the corner or drink too much to forget what you are wearing.
This has happened to me a lot. But it sounds pretty stupid when I write it out and read what I was doing.
Two questions come to mind.
Why wouldn’t I just put on something that does feel good?
Who was I trying to impress?
Let’s take them one at a time.
Why wouldn’t I just put on something that does feel good?
- I don’t have anything.
- My body doesn’t fit my clothes.
- I ran out of time.
I was listening to a podcast the other day, and the host interviewed Stasia Savasuk. She did a TEDx talk that you should really listen to. You can find it at Stasia Savasuk.com.
Stasia runs an online-style school where she teaches women that their body is never the problem. It’s the clothes you are wearing over your body.
She teaches her students to ask themselves, Who am I? and How do I want to show up in this world?
Ask yourself that right now. Maybe you are a strong, independent woman, a playful, loving mom, or an adventurous, risk-taking nature lover.
Are your clothes reflecting that? I’m guessing not. I know mine aren’t.
I want my clothes to reflect joy, confidence, and a casual, easy-going lifestyle. I’m loving skirts, and I’ve always loved cardigans and jackets. Another reason why I love Fall so much.
Tips on filling your closet with clothes that reflect who you are
The first step is to figure out what your style is, based on how you want to feel and what image you want to reflect.
Shop your own closet. Try on everything and eliminate anything that does not make you feel good.
Side Note:
If at all possible, keep your clothes out of the landfill. Try to repair, donate or upcycle. Upcycling is transforming your clothes using a little creativity and a few sewing skills. You can transform an old pair of jeans into a denim skirt or shorts, make a t-shirt into a choker t-shirt, turn a denim jacket into a denim vest, etc. Also, make sure the place you are donating your clothes to is not just throwing a lot of it away.
Go shopping, but only buy a few pieces that reflect your style and that you can wear at a moment’s notice.
Trends and seasons don’t matter. Focus on the style that truly appeals to you.
Buy clothes that fit you. Try them on. For me to look confident and joyful, my clothes have to fit. I do not want to be pulling or tugging on them all night.
Buy clothes for quality and longevity instead of lots of the same cheap t-shirts. We need to be shopping less and buying less. It is so much easier to get dressed in the morning when you only have a few things to choose from that you know will make you feel good.
Related Post: How to Live Simply and Create Room for What’s Important
I think she is about to stick her tongue out at us!
My mom knew what made her feel good. She was known for her colorful jackets and flashy jewelry. She loved wearing crazy earrings. When you saw her in those outfits, you knew she was fun and would make you smile.
OK, on to the second question.
Who was I trying to impress?
It certainly wasn’t my husband. Whether he believes it or not, he always tells me I look beautiful.
I wasn’t impressing myself because I didn’t like my appearance.
So, who then? The other people at the party? The fashion police?
I think sometimes we imagine a whole group of people judging everything we put on, and if we are doing something wrong, we will get called out by it. It has taken me a very long time to understand that there really are no fashion police.
Sure, there is a fashion industry that tries to tell you all of the latest things you should be wearing and how you need to change your wardrobe for every season. But you do also understand that they are trying to make money.
Side Note:
There is a new movement in the fashion industry called Slow Fashion. According to goodonyou.eco, Slow Fashion is awareness and approach to fashion, which considers the processes and resources required to make clothing, particularly focusing on sustainability. It involves buying better-quality garments that will last for longer and values fair treatment of people, animals, and the planet.
This emphasizes the idea of buying clothes for quality and longevity. Only keep a few quality pieces in your closet that make you feel your best.
There are a lot of unwritten rules of fashion as well. Not wearing white after Labor Day or before Memorial Day, not wearing socks with sandals, not wearing black and brown together, or making sure your purse and your shoes match.
Related Post: The Importance of Looking and Feeling Good
One of the reasons the rule for not wearing white in the winter was made, was because many homes back then used coal for heat, and white clothes would get very dirty from the soot. Probably not the case in your house.
I will apologize to my son right now for getting on him for wearing socks with sandals. My daughter and daughter-in-law will probably not be happy with me, but after studying this topic, if socks with sandals give my son confidence and make him feel good, then he should go for it.
Wear Clothes that Reflect Who You Are
Part of Stasia Savasuk’s Ted talk is about her daughter who has abnormal limbs. She tried to make her pretty to take the attention off of her disabilities. But her daughter would not have it and wanted to dress in “boys” clothes. When she wore “boys” clothes, she felt like she could jump higher and her face just lit up.
Let go of trying to please someone else with your wardrobe. The only rules you need are the ones that work with your body the way it is right now and the ones that make you feel your most confident. When you feel good everyone else will see that too. Your personality will shine through!
Don’t make yourself invisible. Wear clothes that reflect who you are and how you want to show up in the world.
Do your clothes reflect who you are?
“To me, clothing is a form of self-expression – there are hints about who you are in what you wear.” Marc Jacobs
“Real style is never right or wrong, it is a matter of being yourself on purpose.” G Bruce Boyer
“The most alluring thing a woman can have is confidence.” Beyoncé