I have wasted so much time worrying about what I look like. Recently, I went through all of my journals dating back to 1998 and tore out every page that had any negativity about my weight or complaints about what I looked like. I had quite the pile to burn.

Over the years, I have tried so many diets, but none of them would stick for longer than 3 weeks. They say it takes 21 days for a habit to stick, but that never quite happened for me. For most of my life, I would hate to look at pictures of myself because I thought I looked fat. Sometimes I would not go out because I didn’t have anything to wear that magically made me look skinny.

I don’t know how often I have said I will never eat another chip or drink again. I’ve asked my husband not to let me eat bread or whatever food I deemed bad then. He started to roll his eyes at me and say, “Yes, dear.”

Think of all the fun I missed out on because I was afraid I didn’t look good enough. There are still days when I refuse to look in the mirror before getting in the shower or keep my cover-up on when we are at the lake, but they are getting fewer and fewer.

I have not found that miracle diet or easy fix to get skinny because they don’t work. I look the same, but I have decided that it is time to love myself. It’s time to stop worrying about what I look like and be healthy. We all are born with different body types and change constantly. You are who you are, and it is up to each one of us to be the kindest we can be to ourselves.

How To Stop Worrying About What You Look Like

You must find your own rhythms and honor them. Find what your body likes and dislikes. You must find what you love to do and what makes you feel good. Be kind to yourself and make smart decisions every day.

Move your body

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I started doing Pilates with a good friend of mine. Renee Exner of Everyday Pilates is fabulous. After noticing changes in my body that I liked, I started going twice a week! I love it, and I love how Pilates makes me feel.  Walking with my husband and my dog several times a week is another exercise that makes me feel good. This may seem like too little or too much exercise for you, but this is what works for me right now. My clothes fit a little better, and I feel more confident.

What can you do?

• Take the stairs at work
• Park a little further away from the mall
• Get up an hour earlier and go for a run
• Play tennis or golf with a friend
• Anything that gets you off the couch or chair
• Walk 10,000 steps a day
• Turn on some music and dance
• 30 minutes a day of fitness will do wonders!

Be smart about food

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When it comes to food, I still struggle, but I’m learning to make decisions about what I eat on a moment-to-moment basis. For example, for breakfast, should I take the easy way out and have toast and peanut butter, or do I take the time to make oatmeal and cut up some fruit? Should I drink that second glass of wine? Do I need a second helping?

Planning ahead of time is also key. When you have healthy food on hand and know your next meal, you are less likely to grab the bad stuff!

There are many rules about what you should and shouldn’t eat.  We need to stick to the basics.  The following is what we should be eating daily, according to the American Heart Association.

• 5 servings of vegetables
• 4 servings of fruit
• 6 servings of grain (bread, rice, pasta, fiber)
• 3 servings of dairy
• 3 servings of fat
• 8-9 servings a week of poultry, meat, and eggs
• 2-3 servings a week of fish or seafood
• 5 servings a week of nuts, beans, seeds, and legumes

I believe you will feel better if you commit to eating more fruits and vegetables. Pay attention to what your body is telling you.

Don’t compare yourself to others

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When you worry about what you look like, that means you are comparing yourself to others. If you were content with your body, it wouldn’t matter that you were bigger or smaller than anyone else. When you tell yourself, my hips are too big, you have to be comparing them to someone for a frame of reference. As Rebecca Campbell says in her book, “Light is the New Black,” you were not born to be like someone else. You were born to be like you.

Life is not about being perfect; it’s about being real, true, transparent, and authentically you.

When we compare ourselves to others, we compare the worst of ourselves to the best of them.

We need to quit being so mean to ourselves.  Learn to love what you were born with!

Love Yourself

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God made me in his image, just like everyone else. We are all beautiful. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you are beautiful every day.

Don’t talk negatively about yourself. Don’t judge yourself when you look at pictures. You wouldn’t tell your best friend that her arm looked huge or her fat was hanging out.  Don’t tell yourself that, either. Find beauty wherever you can and focus on that.

We are all unique and are not supposed to look the same. We need to let go of society’s focus on being skinny and instead make good choices that make us happy and healthy. Each of us needs to look for ways to help us feel good, whatever that means to us.

I know I should eat less, exercise more, and love myself while doing that. We all know what to do; we have to do it.  I want to live for a long time and be here for my family and friends. I will quit wasting my time worrying about what I look like.

Related Post: Why Worrying is a Waste of Time and How to Stop

“Accept who you are, love who you are, and build a lifestyle focused on health, not some abstract idea of perfection.”
Body Love, by Kelly LeVeque