This past weekend, I watched the Netflix documentary, “The Social Dilemma,” with my daughter and husband. It was an eye-opener, but it didn’t freak me out like it has been doing for many people. Here’s my opinion about social media.

I have a love/hate relationship with social media. I have always thought that not everyone wants or needs to know what I am doing. And now I see that includes the people running social media.

There are many things I do enjoy about it, though, like connecting with family and friends I haven’t seen in a long time, keeping up with what my kids are doing, sharing celebrations, connecting with family and friends who live far away, and participating in groups with like-minded people.

Or now that I have my own business, I rely on social media to promote my posts and workshops. And I am part of several groups that continue to educate me about how to do that.

But the negative aspect of social media has always lingered in the back of my mind.

My Opinion about Social Media

Time Spent on Social Media

I have always worried about how much time kids spend on their phones and social media. When my kids were home, we tried to have them put their phones down if we were all eating together or having a family conversation. But, something kept bringing them back to their phones. I didn’t understand that the technology of these social media apps was designed to keep people engaged for a long time. And if they were not engaged, the kids would get a notification to bring them back.

I was in a car with some friends once, and one of the kids was constantly on her phone. We talked about schools and phones and how hard it is for schools to keep the kids off their phones. I mentioned that during school, the kids should have to turn in their phones to focus on learning. She bit my head off and said that she would die if she didn’t have her phone for that long. That so shook me. But after seeing the documentary, that is exactly what social media is trying to do!

My kids are grown and on their own now, and when we are all together, I feel like we respect each other enough to have more attention on the family than the phones. But kids are starting earlier and earlier, and it will become a hard habit to break.

As hard as it is, parents have to take charge and limit social media time.

Put Your Phone Down

I hate it when people are looking at their phones when they are with others. Unless someone is waiting for an important phone call or has an emergency, put the phone down.

I am a big proponent of living in the moment and appreciating life as it is now. Social media seems to keep us wondering what it could be. What is someone else doing that I could be doing? Am I doing something exciting enough to post on social media? Am I missing out on what everyone else is doing?

When you are constantly looking at what everyone else is doing, you are wasting your life away. Do what makes you happy without worrying about what everyone else thinks. Social media is constantly trying to get us to focus on what could be and what do we need to be better. It’s called advertising and how they make money. Don’t give them that power over you!

Social Media and Self Worth

When I am spending a few minutes scrolling through social media on my own, I appreciate the “Like” button. In the documentary, they talked about how that was supposed to be a positive thing. A way to show someone you read what they said and acknowledge them—a way to share in their joy, grief, or success.

But it has also become tied to your self-worth. When you are vulnerable enough to put something on social media for all to see, you want to be acknowledged. But if no one likes it, it doesn’t feel good. It can make you feel like no one likes you, what you are doing isn’t worthy of attention, or you aren’t being seen.

Related Post: 11 Ways to Stop Being a People Pleaser

This show actually helped me to see that it’s not your fault. When you post something, you assume all of your friends are given a chance to see it, but that is not true. Each social media platform uses its own algorithm to show you what they think you want to see.

I found this simple definition of an algorithm on promorepublic.com, “In simple English, a social media algorithm definition is a set of rules used to rank, filter and organize the content for users within certain social media platform. Its major role is to show users the content according to their preferences and previous activities on social media.” If you are not consistently posting and getting engagement, you will not be seen.

Even as a 53-year-old grown woman, I can fall into the trap of not feeling good enough or thinking no one likes me. And I know better! I hate what that does to young women and men.

I have written this before, but it needs to be repeated!

“You are a beautiful soul, one that is unique and yearning to break free! Know that you are loved unconditionally, and you do not need validation from anyone else.” From A Simple Message About Life

If you are posting on social media, post because you want to share some positivity, love, and ideas that make others feel good. Otherwise, find another way to share that doesn’t make you or someone else feel bad.

What They Know About You

The biggest revelation that came from “The Social Dilemma” was how much information the social media apps have on you. And that they sell it to advertisers. Basically, you are for sale.

My son looked into this after watching the documentary and found that Facebook had a record of all of the websites he had been on. He immediately deleted Facebook. But to be fair, he didn’t use it much anyway, so it made sense.

If you dare to know more about this, just Google “How do I find out what Facebook knows about me.” It’s kind of scary.

So, what do you do if you like sharing on social media?

How to Stay Safe on Social Media

• Just know that every electronic device you use can track you. Pay attention and check what you have your settings set to. Don’t give away your location or turn on notifications. Check out this article on experian.com.
• Check your settings on your social media accounts. Check out this article on Norton.com. How to Keep your Personal Information Safe on Social Media.
• Don’t chase every ad that is put in front of you.
• Limit your time on social media. Again, turn off notifications so that you are not tempted to check them throughout the day.
• Be respectful when you are on social media. Don’t hide behind your computer. If you wouldn’t say what you post or comment to someone in person, don’t say it online.
• Pay attention to your kid’s accounts.
• Know why you are using social media. Set your own boundaries.
• Live your life in real life! Go outside, have adventures, read a book, get together with friends, etc. And, just a reminder, that no one really needs or wants to know everything you do.

So, that’s my opinion about social media. I am fully aware that I am using social media to promote Living Marvelously, and I would love to get as many people as possible to click on my stuff.

I’m also aware that I would not have Living Marvelously without the internet, so I will not back away just yet. I will just be aware of how I’m using it. To share positivity and ways to live marvelously.

Check out “The Social Dilemma” on Netflix and form your own opinion. I’d love to hear it!