There are a lot of rules in life. Some are necessary in order to keep us safe and some are unwritten rules of life.
The rules we need to follow or we will get in trouble with the law are:
- Do not physically harm another person or do things that could potentially cause harm to another person, like speeding.
- Do not steal things that don’t belong to you.
- You can’t make other people do things for you; treat everyone fairly.
You know what I’m getting at.
Then there are the unwritten rules of life that we follow to help the world run smoothly.
These are common courtesy rules that are assumed people will abide by.
- If you borrow something, you will return it.
- Leave things better than when you found them.
- Say please and thank you.
- Respect others’ time and space.
- Tell the truth.
- Don’t use your phone at the dinner table.
Being kind rules that make everyone feel good.
And then there are the rules we make up for ourselves.
Things we tell ourselves have to be true and if we don’t follow them, someone will notice and judge us. Unwritten rules you don’t have to follow.
- Wearing clothes to look good for others. -Worrying about how people will see you or judge your appearance.
- You can’t be yourself if someone else is uncomfortable. -Playing small so that others can feel good about themselves.
- It’s your responsibility to make others feel good. -Having connections with others is healthy, but everyone is responsible for their own happiness.
- You can’t spend the day relaxing and getting absolutely nothing done. -Why not? If that is what you need, go for it!
- You can’t wear white after Labor Day. -Who actually cares about this one?
- Looking young and being fit is the standard you must strive for. -This is a tough one for me, but I’m learning how to be happy now in the body that has gotten me to where I am today.
- You can’t be happy if someone else is sad. -Help others if you can, but by being happy, you show others a different possibility.
What are you telling yourself you can’t do because someone else might not like it?
Maybe it has something to do with your passion or purpose. If you do what you really want to do, other people will judge you and tell you it won’t work, so I’ll stick to what is acceptable.
Are you ready to call bulls____ on that?
I know I am.
There is rarely anyone who is fully aware of what you are doing every day. And if they do make a comment about it, it’s likely they are jealous or dealing with their own stuff. Most people are too concerned about what they look like to worry about you. Let go of the notion that there are “police” out there paying attention to your every move.
Benefits of Living Your Own Life
What would the world look like if everyone loved themselves enough to love others unconditionally?
You could live a life that makes you happy while respecting and giving space to everyone else to do the same.
You would not need to have power over others. Teaching, coaching, or inspiring others only requires you to be one step ahead of the other person. Your goal is to catch them up and let them use your knowledge to then make their life better.
There would be no one to fear. There is room for everyone to be who they want to be. And when they love themselves, they have no reason to want to harm anyone else, so leave them alone. Or, better yet, get to know them, learn something new, and see how it is easy to co-exist.
If you aren’t happy with your current circumstances, you ask someone for help or you just change your circumstances. Choose a different way.
It is all done from a place of love for ourselves and others.
Ok, I know this isn’t realistic, but one by one we can take back our lives, do what makes us happy and allow others to do the same.
Set boundaries, be kind, help others when you can, but most importantly, stop making up unwritten rules about life that aren’t true! Every person on this earth is here to share their own gifts. Gifts that are a little different than anyone else. Your gifts are needed and someone is waiting to see/hear/learn/be inspired by them.
Comment below with other unwritten rules you have made up that you are going to release starting today!