Do you tend to live your life living up to expectations of other people?
Expectations might be –
- Dressing or looking a certain way to fit in
- Not being your true self for fear of being an outcast
- Putting your life on hold to help someone else
- Working long hours and weekends to impress your boss
- Giving in to peer pressure
- Not pursuing your dreams because someone told you it wouldn’t work
Those people can be your friends, family, coworkers, society, or famous influencers.
When you are living up to the expectations of others, you are not following your heart. Let’s say you would love to pursue art, but your husband or family is telling you that you can’t because it won’t pay the bills; you probably set it aside.
How about if you decide that you want to travel the world, but others are telling you no because you are needed at home for them.
What if you don’t want to go to college, but everyone tells you it’s necessary to get a good job.
Or finally, you want to work on your own self-care, but there are too many other commitments getting in the way.
When you give in to the expectations of others, you fit into their dream life. Instead, enjoy freedom from other people’s expectations and focus on your own dreams.
Before you listen to what others expect of you, ask yourself these questions.
- Does this match with my values?
- Will this help me reach my goals or make my dreams come true?
- Does this match with my beliefs?
- Is this what I really want?
See, the thing is, your life is important, and you are your own unique blessing to this world. No one knows what you need or who you are better than you.
You have to take control of your life.
Even though living up to other people’s expectations might seem like a nice thing to do, it is actually selfish.
The world needs your talents, ideas, and passions. Don’t let someone else’s expectations influence your choices. Live your life for yourself.
Make sure you know who you are and what you want.
Be clear on what your goals and dreams are.
Make sure your beliefs match your goals.
If you keep putting your health on the back burner, you will soon have no one to impress or please.
And, my #1 piece of advice on taking control of your own life is to speak your mind and make sure everyone else knows what you want too.
One of my favorite songs is “Brave” by Sara Bareilles. When it comes on the radio, I sing it as loud as I can. Here is a snippet of the lyrics.
I can’t read those lyrics without singing them! That song makes me want to shout from the rooftops!
Be brave enough to let others know what you want.
If you are not speaking up, others will continue to expect you to do things you really don’t want to do. They might think you actually like it!
Have the conversations. Once you speak your mind, it is free and will be heard. It is the first step to living your best life.
I love this quote by Vince Gowman of Healing for a New World –
“Every time you authentically and courageously speak up, you love yourself a little bit more. You give yourself the love your family could not give you, and you reclaim your right to be heard, valued, and respected. Being seen and heard is your inherent birthright. You are not meant to live in the constraints of your mental cave; rather, you are meant to be wild, free, and expressive, just as young children are. This free spirit, this child, still lives in you. It has never left. It wants to come out and play. Open the gate through the beauty and power of your voice, and let yourself be seen and heard once again.”
Dive deeper in my new book, The 5 Ls of Living Marvelously, now available on Amazon!
How to Speak Your Mind
- Think before you speak. Be sure to have control of your emotions and a clear idea of what you want to say. Speaking from the hip when you are frustrated or angry will never end well.
- Be calm. When you speak with a calm voice, it makes the receiver calm as well. Elevated or loud talking tends to make other people tune out.
- Practice on someone you trust.
- Be confident in what you are speaking.
- If it’s too hard, write a letter.
- Accept the fact that others may not agree with you. In that case, you can either try to come to a compromise that works for both of you or stand your ground.
Finally, be sure you are not putting expectations on others. Love yourself and your life so much that it’s not necessary.
Be brave, enjoy the freedom, and be who you were meant to be! Let go of living up to expectations of other people!
When you take ownership of your life, other people feel empowered to follow suit. Gustavo Razzetti
Other Posts You Might Enjoy:
7 Must Try Ways to Stop the Negative Self Talk
I think this is a great message and something we all need to work on, and I can recall a couple times where you were singing that song in the car!
Thanks Ryan! And I apologize now for what I sounded like. 🙂
this really inspired me thanks Laurie Jonas
You are so welcome!