This is my first fall with no kids going back to school. No clothes shopping, no school supplies or books, no moving into a dorm with 1,000 other people, and no beginning of the year paperwork! It’s all done, and my 3 kids are young adults and living on their own, supporting themselves. In fact, we just made our last payment related to school! Where did the time go? It’s crazy to think that my husband and I are finally at this stage of our lives. But, we made it through, our children still like us, and we have learned a lot! So, now I want to share a few back-to-school tips with you.
I know we made a few mistakes along the way.
For instance, our kids like to remind us that…
We made our son stay home to go to baseball practice instead of going on a Senior trip
My daughter probably played a few too many years of basketball than she wanted to
and
We moved our kids to the country just when they met all kinds of friends in their neighborhood.
But if we don’t make mistakes, how can we learn and share with others right?
Now that I can look back at those years, it is easy to see what I might have done differently while my kids were in school.
I now know that my children will not play professional sports. Getting an A in every class is not necessary for everyone. Being the most popular is not necessarily best for their future. Figuring out problems on their own will help them more than being overprotective.
Here are a few more back-to-school tips for the new school year from a parent who made it through.
Back To School Tips For Parents
Always listen to your children
If they tell you they don’t like football, band, speech, or whatever extracurricular activity they are involved in, hear them out. Always be available for open communication. Find out the real reason why and see how you can support them. Help them find something they like. Please do not make them live your dreams; let them live their own.
Enforce reasonable rules
You are the parent, and while they are living at home, you still have some control. Enforce rules that keep them safe, but make sure you are not overprotecting them from the world.
Be prepared and make sure they have what they need
Fill out all of the paperwork the school is requesting, pay for their school lunches, pay whatever other fees they need, and get them to school on time. That seems simple and obvious, but I used to be a school secretary, and you wouldn’t believe the number of parents that didn’t do that. Your kids do not need that extra burden. Give your children some focused time every day to make sure they have what they need. I know you are busy, but this stuff is more important for your kids.
Give your children some space
As the youngest of six children, my mom and dad didn’t pay much attention to what I was doing in school. So, when my children were growing up, I made sure I was always there, maybe to a fault. I over volunteered and wanted to know everything that was going on. I think ideally, you should be somewhere in the middle. Give them space to figure out their own problems and make their own decisions, but make sure they know you are there to help.
What I did get from my parents was love
I knew that I was supported and would go home to a safe and loving home. I like to think we provided that for our children as well. If your children know they are supported and have a solid foundation, they are more likely to make good decisions. If their basic needs are met, they are allowed the mental capacity to learn more and dream bigger. Read this short article about “What Every Child Needs” from Children’s Hospital Colorado.
Allow your children to figure out who they are, what they love, and how they can contribute to this world.
Be a good role model and help them navigate through the hard times. Model the behavior and character you hope that they will use as well.
Related Post for us adults to be a good role model: 8 Habits To Help you Make the Most of Your Life
If you can allow your children some freedom while in school, they will have a head start in college and after.
School is hard, full of temptations, bullies, and peer pressure, but we as parents can be the solid foundation for them to fall back on. As your kids prepare for the new school year, be sure to love them and support them any way you can.
If you are lucky, you get 22 years to help your children navigate life. Then when they are out on their own, they will have the skills to live on their own and know that you will always be there for them.
You may be in the thick of raising your kids and wondering when you will ever have time for yourself again. As someone who has made it through, take a breath and be present for every moment. The time goes by way too fast. Too often, we wish away the time we have with our kids. There will come a day when you wish you had some back.
Have you made it through the school years? What back-to-school tips do you have?