Have you noticed that when people retire, they always say they are busier now than ever? It always seemed strange to me, because when you take out a 7-8-hour workday, that seems like a lot of time to fill to continue being busy.
But now that I am home with an empty nest, I have found a lot of time to fill as well. And being busy is not that hard. But its what we do to keep busy that makes a difference.
Being busy does not mean you have to be doing something active at every moment. You don’t have to have outings planned every day or use distractions to fill your time. Sometimes being busy is doing planned self care.
Take the time to design your own way of being busy.
Here are a few options for being busy
- Catch up on your sleep
- Learn how to cook for one or two
- Take more walks
- Visit your kids or call your kids
- Clean out your kid’s rooms
- Plan more couple time with your spouse
- Rediscover who you are and what your new dreams are
- Start checking things off your bucket list
- Read for hours
Being busy is not a competition
The definition of being busy is “having a great deal to do”, or in a verb sense, “keeping occupied”.
Too often this becomes a competition. When someone asks you what you have been up to, do you answer, “I’m so busy!” It’s almost like you are scared to say anything else for fear you are not living up to the expectations of life.
Don’t live life like a race. Stop competing. Just be busy in the sense that you have a great deal to do and you love every bit of it. Answer the question of what you do this way. “I’m filling my time with things I love. Reading, painting, walking, volunteering and just relaxing. It’s wonderful.”
Related Post: “How to Get Through A Busy Season of Life”
Decide for yourself what busy looks like.
But don’t be so busy that you avoid doing the things that might take more time, energy and thought to put together. Like those vacations, or friends you want to see, or books you want to write or new hobbies you want to learn.
Get a Life Tree
When my husband’s company was sold and he was not working for a while, my son bought him a book titled, “The Joy of Not Working”, by Ernie Zelinski. I’m sure it was kind of a joke, but I picked it up one day and started reading.
It is meant to be a practical and reliable guide to create a paradise away from the workplace. It was written for the retired, unemployed or those that are working but not loving the 9-5. It’s a book meant to get you excited about life and when you wake up every morning, excited about the day.
My favorite exercise in the book was the Get a Life Tree.
You start by asking yourself this question. If you only had five years left to live, how would you spend those five years to make your life happy and fulfilling? When you actually have the time for yourself, there is no limit to what you can imagine.
Take out a blank piece of paper and in the middle of the page write, “Options for My Leisure”. Then draw three branches with these primary categories.
- Activities that turn you on now
- Activities that turned you on in the past (but you have stopped doing)
- New activities you have thought of doing (but haven’t done yet)
Try to come up with at least 50 things to fill out your tree. Record everything that comes to mind no matter how silly it might seem.
You can also add more branches for other things you would like to pursue. For example, travel or way to get physically fit or what to do at night instead of watching TV.
Continue to fill out your tree with new branches to get really specific. If your “new activities” branch has “take night classes”, add a branch with wine tasting or accounting or crocheting.
Here is what my “tree” looks like. Because I typed it up, it doesn’t really look like a tree, but it still has lots of options.
In the book he lists over 300 activities for your Get a Life Tree.
Activities for your Get A Life Tree
- Fly a kite
- Start a hobby farm
- Learn magic
- Care for someone ill
- Write a fairy tale
- Improve your personality
- Start a new charity
- Study clouds
- Visit a museum
- Go play bingo at your local nursing home
- Lie on a beach
- Attend live theater
- Go to church
- Photograph nature
- Window shop
- Dance in the rain
- Learn how to sing
- Roller skate
- Play cards
- Help fight pollution
- Play hockey
- Memorize a poem
- Start a comic strip
- Climb a tree
- Have a long conversation with a child to see what you can learn
Knowing what you want to do in your leisure time is your guide to what will make your life fulfilling and what your being busy looks like.
My Aunt Max is 92 years old and she tells me that her secret to living a long life is keeping busy. She is still selling Avon, playing cards with friends and having Friday night dinners into her 90’s. She is an inspiration for sure!
So, stop saying you are busy because you think you have to be and start being busy with activities that you love to do.
You do not have to prove to anyone that you are valuable or defend yourself if you are not busy.
Life is a journey. As an empty nester, your journey has come to a really exciting time where you can fill your days with things that make your life marvelous.
Find your way of being busy and enjoy!
I’d love to hear what you come up with! Comment below.
“It’s not enough to be busy. So are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about?” Henry David Thoreau
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