Christmas is coming up this month, and of all of the things to get stressed about, one thing that lingers in my mind is the church. I haven’t gone to church on Christmas Day for several years now. For the first few years, it was because I hosted Christmas Eve and couldn’t fit that service in, and Christmas morning was a chance to stay home with just my husband and kids and exchange our gifts with each other. It became our routine. But I was brought up Catholic, so the guilt still lingers. I’m working on it, though, and I can now say that my beliefs about spirituality do not need a church.

The keyword in that sentence is “my.” The beauty of being spiritual is that I get to follow my faith in my way, according to my conscience. So that means you do, too. We do not have to feel guilty about not following our faith based on what our parents told us or our neighbors’ actions. Find what works for you.

I love this quote from the Mind Valley blog, “The truth of the matter is that spirituality is perhaps the most natural thing there is: it is simply your conscious self-recognizing that you are more than just a body, that you are a soul with infinite potential.”

Related Post: Christmas Prayer

My mom taught Faith Formation at our church for most of my siblings. She taught me throughout elementary school and through my confirmation. I learned my belief in God through her, and when I was a mother, I continued the path and began teaching my kids in Faith Formation. I remember teaching prayers, scripture stories, and the ten commandments. But it never felt quite right telling a 10-year-old that they had to follow the commandments or they wouldn’t get to heaven. That somehow God would punish them.

There seemed to be too many rules around how we get God’s love. I would teach how we needed to be like Jesus and love everyone, and then I would go to church and listen to the Priest tell me I had to do certain things to be a good Christian. And that only certain people could come here to hear the message. It just wasn’t making any sense to me.

When my mom was sick, I started reading personal development books, which introduced me to recognizing my spirit. That felt a little better. But in honor of my mom, I kept going to church and teaching. After my kids were confirmed, I slowly stopped going.

I would make all of us sit and watch a Christmas Mass on TV because I still felt guilty about not attending church. My kids did not feel that guilt, so needless to say, we didn’t get much out of it.

I am NOT here to say that you shouldn’t go to church.

The church can be a safe, grounding place that provides a community for a lot of people. And whatever makes you feel closer to God is great. I hope you don’t go out of guilt or make others feel guilty for not going. We all have our way of feeling our connection with a higher spirit.

If I could go back and teach Faith Formation again, this is what I would teach.

• That God loves you no matter what.
• We are all connected and more alike than it may seem.
• You can have direct communication with God anytime you want. Just talk to Him.
• Everyone on earth is a child of God and is worthy of His love.
• There are no limitations to what you can achieve.
• You don’t have to be like everyone else. Discover your own talents and gifts.
• Love is the antidote to fear.
• You have the power to create your reality.
• Miracles happen every day.
• Be the unique being that you were born to be!

So, this year, I will not be going to church on Christmas Day, and I won’t make my kids watch it on TV. I will pray and thank God for bringing his son to earth to teach us how to love others.  And enjoy my time with my family. And honor and respect those who make it a priority.

Here are a few ideas of what to do instead:

• Play Christmas music or sing Christmas carols
• Spend time and laughter with your loved ones
• Bring gifts to those in need
• Take someone who is alone to a movie
• Visit a nursing home and bring a few gifts
• Join a group or tribe with similar values
• Take a long walk in nature and notice the beauty of how everything grows and knows when to bloom.
• Volunteer at a soup kitchen
• Write in your gratitude journal or reflect on all of your blessings
• Watch Christmas movies with friends
• Invite someone who is alone to your Christmas celebration
• Send thank-you notes to people who helped you or made a difference in your life this year
• Just do nothing!

Whatever you do, I hope it makes you feel good. Whether that is going to church on Christmas Day or not. Guilt is one of the lowest feelings on the energy vibration scale and keeps you from manifesting joy and happiness. Let that go!

Sometimes, I miss the church’s music, community, and beauty, and someday, I may go back, but for now, I’m quite happy with my spirituality. I told my kids I wanted them to find their own way of expressing their spirituality.

How do you celebrate your faith?

“It’s better to sit on a boat thinking about God than sit in a church thinking about fishing:).”