My youngest child is graduating from college this Spring and possibly moving out of state for a job.  It recently hit me that I will have an empty nest soon. So what do I do now?

An empty nest is when your children have grown up and left home.  Empty nest syndrome is a feeling of grief and loneliness parents may feel when their children leave home for the first time.  Those are official definitions.

Here are my definitions.  An empty nest is when your children have somehow grown up and no longer inhabit your home, and your home is now very quiet.  Empty nest syndrome is when the parents are left at home wondering what to do with themselves now.  There are no more concerts, practices, clubs, and games to keep track of and no more rides in the car.  The laundry can be completed in a couple of hours, the house stays pretty clean, and we need to re-learn how to cook for two.  The only person to talk to now is your spouse, and we must listen to each other.

It took me a couple of years, while my youngest was still in college, for it to sink in.  When they are in college, they still need you.  You are still their lifeline, but it fades and gets thinner and thinner. Boyfriends, girlfriends, and roommates become more important.  When they start making their own money, they begin making decisions independently and do not always ask for your advice.

I love that my kids are independent citizens putting their stamp on the world.  I would not want anything less as long as they are happy and healthy.  After all, that is a parent’s job, to prepare them for a life on their own and, if you are lucky, help them with their parenting.

Do you remember what it was like when you left your childhood home?  You wanted your independence, a chance to figure out this world on your own, and you needed to make your own mistakes. It’s hard to remember that after you have raised your children.

So, what do you do now that you have an empty nest?

You seem to have time to get things done now. But, first, you need to remember what it is you like to do!  Here are some ideas:

Put some love and attention on yourself. Remember how much love and attention you gave your children?  Now it’s your turn. Make healthy meals, get enough sleep, move your body, keep your mind active, everything you always preached to your children.

If you are married, the most important thing is to rediscover why you married your spouse in the first place.  What did you have in common that you liked to do together?

-Go to movies or other types of dates

-Watch professional or college sports events

-Go out to eat with friends

-Run, golf, or some other physical activity

-Travel

Tools and motivation to prioritize your life and live the life that makes you happy. Only $11.

Self Care for Empty Nesters eBook

Re-acquaint yourself with friends who aren’t your children’s teammates or friends’ parents.

Find new or rediscover your old hobbies. Try this creativity challenge to get you started.

–Write, knit, paint, read, golf, cards, travel, decorate, volunteer

Go back to work or put more time into the career you have.

Spend time with your parents.

Go back to school or further your education.

Adopt a pet!

Remember when you were so busy with your children that you never had time to do anything for yourself? What were the things you wanted to do?  YOU HAVE THE TIME NOW!

Acknowledge the change and be proud

It is very common for parents with empty nest syndrome to become lonely, leading to depression, alcoholism, identity crisis, or marital conflicts.    I think my mom, Marvel, had a difficult time when her children were gone.  She didn’t know how to use her voice to ask for what she needed.  This is why it is crucial to take the time to acknowledge the change in your life and take control!

You can still stay in touch with your children.  Even though they are no longer living in your home, your children still need you.  You will always be their biggest fan and will love them unconditionally. So call them, visit them, and stay involved while still giving them their own space.

You have done your part.  You should be proud and grateful that you were able to raise your children to adulthood.  And, lucky that you still have time to discover yourself again.

The nest isn’t empty; you just have a little more room. So in what ways are you coping with an empty nest?

“The biggest change for me as a mom was realizing I needed to put someone else before me. Now the hardest part about the empty nest is learning to put me first. I know that I have raised my sons to be big, strong, independent men who love God, themselves and care for others. I have to learn to let them have space and learn without me.” ~ Kim Alexis

Other Posts You Might Enjoy:

My First Fall With No Kids in School – What I Learned

How to Avoid Midlife Crisis with 11 Mindful Journal Prompts

How to Release Feeling Unworthy in Midlife and Embrace Your Greatness