Feel the Joy of Giving Without Expecting Anything In Return

I’ve discovered a lot about myself in pursuing personal development over the last few years. One thing was that I often worked with a fixed mindset. One trait of fixed mindset thinking is seeking validation for what you do. Part of that is confidence, but part of that is expecting something in return for my achievements. And then, one of my clients told me he was angry at his family because they weren’t giving back to him after he helped them out with a project. I realized that this is common.

It isn’t easy to be giving without expecting anything in return.

As I coached my client, and myself for that matter, I asked him why he was helping his family. He said, “Because that is who I am, that is what I do, I help people.” And I thought to myself, “I share my gifts because that is who I am, it is what I love to do, and I want to help people.”

We need to let that be enough.

 

 

Give of yourself without thinking about what you will receive in return. Put no conditions on your giving. Not everyone thinks like you and may not have the same desire to give. Let that be OK, and be grateful that you do. Not to be better than anyone else, but just to spread as much love as possible – more love will automatically come back to you. You don’t have to force it; it’s a law of the Universe.

Give because others need it, not because you are hopeful of receiving. There’s joy to be found in giving without expecting anything in return.

It’s a lesson many need to learn, and the only way to know the beauty of this message is to experience it. To feel the freedom and release it brings you to not worry about what anyone else is doing and focus on what you can do.

Invisible Invoicing – Giving Without Receiving

I heard that term the other day, which inspired me to write this post. Invoicing others in your head when you do something. It might sound something like this:

• I did that, so now someone else has to do it next.
• What’s in it for me?
• Looking for a reward.
• Expecting acknowledgment for showing appreciation to someone.
• Keeping score – remember who paid or helped last.
• Always reminding others what you have done.
• Making others feel guilty about not giving as much.

Ways to give without expecting anything in return:

• Give the money you can spare.
• Let someone vent to you without needing to fix things.
• Share your gifts with someone just because you love to do them.
• Help or visit others because that is what your heart is telling you to do. Don’t make others feel guilty about not doing the same. Ask for help if needed instead.
• Listen to an opinion without trying to change their mind.
• Let someone tell you a story without sharing something to “one-up” them.
• Be forgiving.
• Stop and help someone, even if you are in a hurry.
• Tell someone how well they are doing or how beautiful they are without looking for a return compliment.

In Richard Carlson’s book, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, he says this:

“It’s really true that one should give for the sake of giving, not to receive something in return. This is precisely what you are doing when you don’t mention your kindness to others – your rewards are your warm feelings that come from the act of giving. The next time you do something really nice for someone else, keep it to yourself and revel in the abundant joy of giving.” 

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Use the Emotional Scale

Pay attention to what you think the next time you give to others. Be aware of any invisible invoicing going on. What can you let go of? Disappointment, anger, jealousy, or guilt? All those emotions are low on the vibrational scale. Can you feel content knowing you did something kind? Work your way up the scale and see what comes back to you when you start giving without expecting anything in return.

You can even learn how to use the Emotional Scale to Attract More of What You Want.

Your emotions are a guidance system to how aligned you are with your spirit. The feelings that come from expecting something from someone keep you in the blue and purple. When you are in the pink section, your vibrational energy is high. Notice the feeling, then see how you can work your way up the scale.

Let’s be kind for the sake of being kind. Let’s appreciate the feeling that comes with giving without expecting anything in return. Leave a comment below and let me know if you find yourself invisible invoicing too. But if you don’t, I appreciate that you read this far, and I hope you have a great day! (Whew, that feels good!)