Some people I love are going through some difficult times right now. They have every right to be feeling sad, depressed, scared, angry, or mad. It’s hard to know how to comfort someone who is sad.
Of course, my first instinct is to help them sort their feelings, but it can be hard to know the right things to say at the moment.
We all want to do something to help others, but knowing what that is is hard. And when someone is feeling down, it’s hard for them to know what they want help with too.
Maybe you can give them a big hug or take them out for coffee or bring them some food.
For me, writing is how I can be helpful. I can research, learn, and share how to comfort someone who is sad, and this is what I found.
How to Listen to Comfort Someone
One way I know we can help others is to be there to listen. Here are a few tips.
Listen without…
- interrupting
- trying to fix anything
- putting words in their mouth
- changing the subject
- comparing their feelings to yours
Listen…
- with an occasional nod or show of understanding
- and mirror what they are saying and the tone they are saying it in
- and allow spaces of silence
- with an assurance of your confidentiality
The problem is, you can’t be there for your friends and family all of the time. You may live far apart or have your own busy life to deal with. Or, they might need their space.
When you can’t be with them physically, there are other things you can do to comfort someone.
5 Other Ways to Comfort Someone Who Is Sad
Send them a care package – things they can use to practice self-care—bath salts, candles, a bottle of wine, a journal, a book, tea, or an adult coloring book.
Write them a letter – remind them why they are important and loved. Include funny quotes to make them laugh.
Make them a playlist – a mix of music to help them distract their thoughts. Send them a list of motivating podcasts or YouTube channels.
Call them to check in – just let them know you are thinking about them.
Keep your advice and your own feelings in check – Let them process the way they feel without thinking they should be feeling differently. Everyone works out their feelings at their own pace and in their own time frame.
Sometimes we have to deal with the sadness ourselves. Someone else can’t “fix” it. This is hard to accept because I don’t like seeing my friends and family sad; I want to make it all better. So, the second-best thing is to give them ways to help themselves.
10 Ways to Comfort Yourself
Acknowledge your feelings
Know that you are in a phase, and this too will pass. Acknowledge and accept how you are feeling right now in this moment, and do not judge it. I read this great quote by Julie Santiago. It says,
“WHEN YOU BEGIN TO ACCEPT YOUR FEELINGS (WITHOUT JUDGING OR NEEDING TO “FIX” THEM), THE FEELINGS START TO MELT AWAY.”
Cry, Yell, Scream, Throw Things
Let your emotions out, do not hold them inside to build up, and make you ill. When you release your emotions, you are also releasing your stress hormones.
Write it out!
Take out your journal and write down everything you are feeling. EVERYTHING! You can burn it later, but get those thoughts out of your head. If you are mourning someone, write down all the good things you remember about them. If you care for someone who is sick, write down all the things you are grateful for in them.
Get Distracted
Go to work, clean your house, watch a movie, or go for a run. Call your mother, sister, or friend, and tell them you need to get out of the house. They will be happy to have a way to help you. Anything to take your mind off of your sadness for a while. This also helps from going down a rabbit hole of worry or regret.
Talk to Someone
Is there a friend or relative dealing with the same thing as you? Help each other through it. Knowing you are not alone in your sadness can really help. Do you need to talk to a professional? Ask friends for a referral.
Remember to Take Care of Yourself
Shower, get dressed, eat well, exercise, and sleep. Learn to be gentle with yourself. Take the time to relax and rejuvenate.
Permit Yourself to be Sad
Heal on your own schedule. There is no right or wrong way. According to the article, It’s OK to be sad, “Sadness arrives with noble intentions. It is the energetic expression of our internal experience of loss, hurt, or disappointment. And it’s here to do us some good, to convey an important message. It allows us to process an experience and transition through it fully. Our job is to allow an honest and complete expression of that emotion for ourselves and others. By fostering a full expression of the internal experience, we support our well-being and promote satisfying and fulfilling relationships.”
Pray
Ask God for help. Ask the Universe for guidance. Know that help is there and listen and pay attention to what they are telling you.
Meditate
Meditation can help clear your head and allow you to relax. Try this guided meditation to release sadness.
Be Grateful
At a time when it feels right, remember all that you are grateful for in your life. That includes memories, extra time with someone sick, or a new perspective or outlook on life.
We all go through difficult times in our lives, and feeling sad is very normal. We can’t always be happy and positive. Sometimes we need to deal with our emotions in the moment.
I hope these tips on how to comfort someone are helpful to you whether you are feeling sad or want to help your family and friends who are feeling sad.
As for the people I love, I’m hopeful happiness makes its return soon.
Do you have any other suggestions? Comment below!
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