Do you know what your priorities are? Have you taken the time to figure it out? As my kids were growing up, they weren’t many spare moments. Almost everything in my life revolved around them and my husband. My free time depended on whether there was a game, concert or other school or business function going on. When my kids were home, priorities revolved around laundry, making meals and being there in case they needed me. Now that they are gone and living lives independently, I need to figure out what my new priorities are and how to spend my spare moments. Setting priorities in life is key to focusing on what is important.
Related Post: “Empty Nest – What Now?”
How to set priorities for a more focused life means figuring out what is most important at the moment. What things, people, goals or values do I want to focus on?
Currently I feel like I am just doing lots of things to fill my time and not being intentional about whether they fall into my priorities or lead me to my goals. Do you feel that way? We get distracted with all of the “urgent” stuff and tend to put off the “important” stuff.
“Urgent” might be:
- A friend calls and wants to do lunch
- Your phone notifies you of a new email
- You get a Facebook notification and it takes you down a scrolling hole for an hour
- Your husband needs you to run an errand for him and you see a friend you haven’t talked to in ages
- You are trying to find something and end up cleaning a closet for two hours
- You plan to watch one episode of The Office and end up watching a whole season
- Etc., Etc.
While those things might be important and worthy of your time, are they supporting your priorities?
Before we can answer that question, we need to figure out what our priorities are.
I added a worksheet to my Resources page that highlights the journal exercises in this post. Sign up to get the password and take a look! You will find it under Personal Development.
According to Mike Dooley in Playing the Matrix, there are five broad categories that our priorities might fall under. Health, Relationships, Abundance, Appearance and Livelihood.
Health
This focuses on the health of your body. Being fit enough to keep up with your kids or grandkids, taking care of any chronic disease you might have or getting enough sleep.
Relationships
Relationships involve maintaining the ones you currently have, finding new ones or figuring out how to get out of toxic ones.
Abundance
This category encompasses any dreams of having more in your life. A new car, a new home, more vacations, money, stuff to fill your home, etc.
Appearance
This category is different from health. Appearance is how you feel about how you look. Losing weight would fall under this category.
Livelihood
Do you want to start a new business? Maybe you are dreaming of getting a new job or a promotion. This category entails anything we want to do to pay our bills or get the necessities of life.
Take some time to brainstorm what your priorities are in your journal. For each category, take 10 minutes to write down anything you can think of that takes up your time or how you would like to use your time in that category.
Another journal exercise you could do is to reflect on the following questions:
- What do I spend the most time on?
- What are my goals and dreams I want to start pursuing?
- Do I have worries I can’t let go of?
- What is most important to me right now?
- How do I talk to myself? Am I critical in any areas?
Once you have found some sort of pattern, pick two or three things you want to make a priority right now.
For me, my priorities right now might be my business, my marriage and my fitness.
When I sit down to plan my days and weeks, the most important things that I will want to do first will have an impact on my priorities. By doing this, I may have to say no to some things and only say yes to things that align with my priorities.
You have to take responsibility for what your priorities are and what choices you are making everyday to keep them in focus. You need to plan your days intentionally and let your priorities guide your decisions.
Letting others know what our priorities are is also important. Let your family and close friends know what you are focusing on right now so they can either help you or understand when you have to say no to something.
For example, if my priorities are my business, my marriage and my fitness right now, my day might look something like this.
- Mornings – Do my Pilates and talk to my husband before he goes to work.
- Days – Spend time on my business and work on the specific goals I have for that. Maybe take my dog for a walk or do some errands to keep the house running smoothly.
- Evenings – Have dinner with my husband.
Other things that are not a priority in my life right now will be filled in after I have done the “important” things.
For example:
- Spend time with other family members
- Volunteering can be scheduled after I get my work done
- Schedule time with friends when I have a free night
- I can schedule in some free time at night to check social media or read
- A request to help someone with an event might be turned down.
Your days may look completely different, but you get the idea. Make your priorities the “important” stuff before you do the “urgent” stuff.
By focusing on the important things first we benefit in many ways.
- Improved focus on our goals
- Consistent growth towards our goals and dreams
- Organized days/effective use of time
- Sense of accomplishment
- Reduced stress
- Peace of mind
The important thing to remember about setting priorities in your life, is that they can change at any time. Today my priorities are my business because it is just in the beginning stages, but once it is working smoothly, I can switch my priorities to spending more time with family.
Whether you have more time now like me, or you find yourself busy with all of the “urgent” stuff, setting priorities can help us stay focused on what’s important right now.
If you want to learn more about using your time wisely, listen to this interview between Marie Forleo and Laura Vanderkam. Laura Vanderkam is the author of several time management and productivity books.
“Lack of direction, not lack of time, is the problem. We all have twenty-four hour days.” Zig Ziglar
Do you know what your priorities are? Be sure to check out my worksheet on my Resources page to help you figure them out!