My husband and I celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary this last week by taking a trip to California with some friends. We had a great time, and we could put our work aside and enjoy each other’s company. We each did some things for the other to make the weekend fun for both of us. He went to a couple of wineries and drank wine; I went in the hot tub and let him go golfing. We watched the Packers game. Different ways we have learned to make each other happy.
Thirty years (now 34!) is a long time to love someone, and it got me thinking about what true love means and how to keep it alive.
My son and his wife are newlyweds, so their love is still fresh and exciting. A new love might look a little scary and give you butterflies in your stomach, but be full of passion. If you’ve been with someone or married for a while, your love might tend to get a little more comfortable, flat, or dull.
When it gets comfortable, it is easy to take it for granted. You can become more like roommates or co-parents or business partners—especially when the kids are gone, and you need to start focusing on each other again. It would be best if you remembered why you got married in the first place.
That’s when you know it’s time to add a little spark or do something to make your partner love you, like when you were first married.
It’s important to keep true love alive.
What Does True Love Mean?
According to the Collins English Dictionary –
- Love is a powerful feeling of affection towards someone to whom you are romantically or sexually attracted.
- Love is the feeling that a person’s happiness is very important to you and how you show this feeling in your behavior towards them.
- True love to me is accepting your partner and continuing to find ways to keep falling in love every day.
- There is a beautiful song by JJ Heller called “What Love Really Means.” The chorus says, “I will love you for you, not for what you have done or what you will become.”
- If you are in a committed relationship, true love has to be the base. It can vary in strength, but it is not something that can be tossed aside.
So, How Do You Keep True Love Alive?
First and foremost, you love yourself! One of the presents I gave my husband for our anniversary was committing to love myself and be healthy. When you do that, you are a better person all around, and everything you do comes from love. When you love yourself, you don’t need to blame your partner for your own feelings of unworthiness because they are not there!
Here are a few other ideas:
Go on dates with each other regularly
Take annual honeymoons
Look in each other’s eyes when you say I love you
Spend time together without your phones
Dance in private
Read to each other
Hide love notes around the house
Accept your partner for who they are right now
Defend them
Do things that help them reach their potential
Cook meals together
Visit families together
Related Post: Advice to My Son on His Wedding Day
Surprise them with little gifts of love
Go for walks together
Admit when you are wrong
Weather the storms together
Apologize
Take care of them when they are sick
Make time for romance
Touch them when you are walking by them
Have a daily or weekly check-in to see how things are going
Find your love languages and learn how to speak to each other. According to Gary Chapman, who wrote the book “The Five Love Languages,” they are words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, quality time, and physical touch. Find out what you and your partner need from each other.
Share dreams and be supportive of each other’s dreams
Make each other laugh
Choose your partner over your friends
Do one of “their” chores without being asked
Tell them “thank you” for doing the little things
Listen to how their day went
Pray together
Learn something new together
Write in your gratitude journal together
And finally, I asked my husband what he thinks keeping true love alive means.
He said to get a dog. Which I am taking to mean having something to love together, right, Dave?
But he also said helping each other and taking care of each other, which I love!
Love is an intense feeling of deep affection. After 30 years of marriage, I can honestly say that love is still alive. And God willing, we have committed to 30 more!
How do you keep love alive in your relationship? What does true love mean to you?
Disclaimer: The above link is an affiliate link, which means I may receive a commission should you click through to make a purchase.