When you take time to reflect on your life and how you are living, it might not always be positive. In fact, it could be pretty bad. You feel like your life sucks…now what? It can be hard to feel like you’re capable of moving forward when the hits just keep coming. You’ve found yourself feeling as though the darkness is encroaching, and all you can think is – Wow. Life sucks.
Okay, so let’s say it’s true; let’s say life really does suck. Not only is it absolutely okay to feel this way, but it’s also an absolute MUST to own those feelings.
Whether you’re feeling mad, frustrated, depressed, lost, or numb, it’s important to acknowledge those feelings.
Beyond that, though, let’s talk about what you can do when all you can think is “life sucks.”
Release the Emotions
Once you’ve acknowledged the emotions and honored them for what they are, it’s time to start the process of letting those emotions go. Get mad if you need to. Punch a pillow, scream, cry, whatever you can do safely to release the emotions, do it.
And don’t be afraid to seek out assistance! There are times when we’re so overwhelmed with emotion that we actually become numb to it all. So don’t hesitate to turn on a sad movie (like Beaches or Steel Magnolias!) to help get things flowing again. A good cry always benefits the soul.
Let Go of the Idea of Control
As easy as it is to think you have complete (or near complete) control over your everyday life, it’s simply not true. There are way too many other players in your life to interrupt or put you off course.
Your job is to be aware of those things that are happening out of your control and see what they might be telling you. What can you learn from them or how might they change the way you do things?
Control and responsibility are two different things. When you take responsibility for your life, you make the shifts that need shifting. You adapt to new directions or persevere where you feel the most passionate. Not all bad things that happen are meant to make your life miserable.
Be Mindful of the Self-Talk
Beyond not blaming yourself when stuck in this “life sucks” mentality, it’s important to be mindful overall of how you’re speaking to yourself. Are you creating self-fulfilling prophecies? For example, if you keep telling yourself “life sucks because I’m so poor!” or “life sucks because I’m always sick!” then guess what? You’ll keep being poor. You’ll keep being sick. You’re giving life to the negative things happening around you! I know how hard it can be to focus on positive affirmations when you’re feeling anything but positive, so if nothing else, try to simply avoid the negative. Even if that means you are simply neutral about it.
Reframe the Situation – Life Sucks but…
One of the easiest ways to avoid feeling like you’re drowning in negativity is to reframe it. Appreciate the little things. This might look like simply appreciating hitting every red light on the way to work because hey – maybe those red lights stopped you from getting into a terrible accident down the road.
Or perhaps now is the time to start (or dive deeper into) a journaling practice. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, it can be really easy to let your mind run away with itself. By journaling out your feelings, you give them somewhere to go. There’s something to be said about having a physical representation of what’s troubling you to then be able to work through it.
Practice Deep Breathing
As a part of your journaling practice, you might also consider practicing some deep breathing beforehand to help you clear your mind. This can be simply sitting comfortably with your eyes closed, focusing solely on the breath as it moves in through your nose, and out through your mouth. It may not feel easy or come naturally at first, but you should definitely give meditation a try!
Create Teeny-Tiny Goals
Practicing deep breathing even for just a minute each day is a teeny-tiny goal that’s absolutely worth setting! In fact, I would encourage you to create teeny-tiny goals as often as possible.
Why not create bigger goals, you might ask?
Because when you’re stuck in the funk of “life sucks” you’re not in the right headspace to foster personal growth or push yourself when you’re already feeling drained.
So instead we’re going to focus on creating teeny-tiny goals that you’ll actually accomplish. This can truly be as simple as “today I’m going to shower” or “this week I’m going to spend at least 5 minutes outside every day.” Then don’t forget to celebrate actually achieving those goals! You’re doing amazing!!
The Attitude of Gratitude
While I fully believe in the power of gratitude, this certainly isn’t going to be one of those posts that tells you to just be positive and move forward! That said, there’s certainly an opportunity to practice gratitude as you move out of the funk you’ve found yourself trapped in.
I stand by that it’s absolutely okay to feel sorry for yourself for a moment, but dwelling on it won’t make things better. Just as we reframe the negative, we need to look for the positive. It doesn’t have to be a long drawn-out list of things you’re grateful for! It can be simply saying to yourself “I’m so grateful for this warm mug of tea right now” or “I’m so thankful that I took a moment for myself today.” The more you recognize those moments, the more often they may happen.
Break the Routines That Led to “Life Sucks”
When you’re feeling depressed, numb, or otherwise in a negative space, one of the best things you can do is break up your routine. Sometimes something as seemingly simple as taking a new route to work can help improve your mood.
There are many new daily routines for morning and evening that you might want to start or change up, such as:
- Gentle stretching to warm your body up upon waking
- Avoiding your phone for the first 30 minutes of the day
- Lemon water instead of (or before) coffee
- Starting your day with a creative practice, like writing or painting
- Staying off your phone 30 minutes before bedtime
- Reading before bed rather than watching TV
- Treating yourself to a warm bath rather than a quick shower
The novelty of something new in your daily routine might just be enough to help you begin to see the positives again.
Talk to Someone
When you’re feeling down, self-love can feel like it’s at an all-time low. And hopefully, you have a friend or family member that can pick up the slack and help you see yourself for the beautiful being that you are. However, I know that there are times when that “life sucks” mentality means you also don’t necessarily want to be around other people.
So what can you do instead?
Treat Yourself
If nothing else, take a moment to treat yourself! This goes back to the idea of not giving life to “oh this is my fault…” and instead bombarding yourself with positivity and love, however much you can muster.
If you can afford it, treat yourself to a nice dinner out…or a nice dinner in, complete with binging your favorite show on Netflix! You can also give yourself a manicure, take a nice long bath, or simply give yourself 30 minutes to just be – distraction-free and focused on once again feeling self-love.
This is also a great time to set yourself up with a few self-care non-negotiables so that you have these to fall back on should things feel sucky again down the road.
Remember – life sucks (temporarily…)
Life absolutely gets overwhelming at times. Whether it’s suddenly becoming an empty nester, dealing with divorce, cancer or chronic illness, betrayal, mental health struggles, or the sudden death of a loved one, it’s fair to say that sometimes…life sucks!
But guess what?
It’s all temporary!
Just because life sucks today doesn’t mean that things won’t be better tomorrow. And while I know how hard it can be to look to the future when the present is so draining, you WILL get there.
One day at a time, one hour…one minute if you need to…take each moment as it passes, and remember that things will get better. This is only temporary.