Today I am posting an article written by my sister Deb Betterly, Ph.D. She wrote this a few years ago for her blog on Amazing Journey Coach. I just ran across it again, and she agreed to let me post it on my blog. Help in finding joy and purpose in life after 50 is always valuable.
Enjoy!
Every stage of life has its unique challenges and joys. No matter what your situation is as you journey through life after 50, one thing is certain; a well-lived present automatically creates a fulfilling future. And yes, there is still plenty of future after 50!
When life isn’t as you want it to be, the first thing you might do is set a better future goal. But, what if instead you took all that energy and applied it to perfecting the present instead? When you make the most of your present situation, a better future is naturally attracted to you.
Finding joy and purpose now, not someday when, is a much better goal. However, few people really know what brings them joy because they have been in a state of striving for most of their life. As a woman in midlife, most likely, you have spent much of your life putting other people’s joy before your own.
Now, it’s your turn. It’s time to create your best life from the inside out.
7 Ways to Find Joy and Purpose in Life After 50
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Recognize How Perfect the Present Really Is!
Say this out loud: “The present is perfect!” What were your next thoughts? Whatever they were, they are the perfect place to start and evolve.
The present may not be perfect when measured by human standards, but it is perfect when measured by your soul’s standards. To realize your ideal future, you must first fall in love with “what is” because the “here and now” is where your opportunities for learning and growing exist.
You can’t change the past, although you can learn to let go of its grip on you. You can’t change the future, but you can steer it in the direction you want to go based on your present attitude and choices.
Have you heard the old saying, “Why do you think they call the present a gift?” it means there is always a positive in every present moment, but you have to be willing to see it and be open to the idea that even in challenging times, there’s a gift to be discovered.
Related Post: 40 Simple Joys of Everyday Life
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Extreme Self Care
Being in the present also means being selfish in the best possible sense of the word. I call it extreme self-care. This is putting your personal focus on balance, well-being, and quality of life.
Here are some examples of extreme self-care and how you can create a present reality that is fulfilling and steers you into more joy and purpose in life after 50.
- Eliminate stress. Not just reduce stress, get rid of it all together! What are your major life stresses? It could be your job, promises you’ve made, certain people, lack of time, money, or resources. List them all, and then come with 1-3 ways to eliminate them.
- Design your environment to serve you best. If something is broken, fix it. De-clutter and revamp your home to make it nurturing and relaxing; only spend time with people who add to your energy, not deplete it. Get fully organized!
- Add more pleasure to your life! Only you know what makes you feel great. Make a list of your top ten favorite personal, intellectual, spiritual, whimsical, and entertainment pleasures. Then come up with at least 3 different ways to put more of each into your life!
- Integrative wellness. This involves using various modalities (the tools to self-heal, overcome, and grow) to empower the self towards harmony and balance in body, mind, and spirit.
- Invest in the service and support of experts. This could mean working with a life coach, a chiropractor, a massage therapist, a psychologist, an accountant, etc. It could also mean having a great support system of friends or groups that fuel your motivation and growth.
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Know and Live by Your Values
Values are those things in your life you find yourself naturally drawn to and have a strong desire to express. Personal values are what you consider to be important in your life. Beauty, freedom, creativity, adventure are examples of values.
When you live your life in tune with your values, you feel more fulfilled. When you go against your values, you will feel an internal struggle. Committing yourself to live your life according to your values in the present will attract a future with more of the same.
Take some time to write down what is most important to you in your life right now. You may be surprised at how that list will be different today than it was even 10 years ago.
Related Post: Do You Know Your Personal Core Values?
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Get Your Needs Met
There are two types of needs, survival needs, and personal needs. Survival needs, when met, keep you alive. Personal needs, when met, let you truly be yourself in the best possible way. They can include information, inspiration, support, solutions, skills, etc.
Needs are not optional. If you’re starving, food isn’t an option; it’s a need. It’s the same with unmet personal or emotional needs. Satisfying your needs is essential to your evolution.
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Tolerate Nothing
For most people, even very together people, 80 percent of their lives involve carrying tolerations around. Tolerations usually represent compromises you’ve talked yourself into. When you were a kid, you didn’t tolerate much, you let your displeasure show, but later, as you got older, you got socialized. You learned to stifle your feelings. You can handle your tolerations in 4 steps. Life is too short to tolerate anything that keeps you from your purpose in life after 50.
- First, recognize the many actual benefits of tolerating. What is the payoff? Maybe it’s as simple as you get to avoid standing up for yourself. Be aware of why you are allowing them.
- Second, set a personal limit on your toleration. For example, how many seconds will you allow someone to go on and on with their complaining before you re-direct or stop the conversation?
- Third, reduce or eliminate whatever consequence you fear or risk you perceive when you rid yourself of toleration. Resolve not to be pushed around by your fear.
- Fourth, respect your tolerations. We all have them, so use them as teaching tools. They might signal an area of your life that needs strengthening.
Related Post: How to Live Simply and Create Room for What is Important
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Keep Life Simple
Automate, remove, create a system, delegate. For example, automate bill paying, get a delivery service, hire a housekeeper, get a VA, say no often, don’t re-invent the wheel, create a closet system, create a food planning and prep system, let go of toxic people, order online, etc. Ask yourself, “If I am ready for a very, very simple life at this point, what major changes would I need to make to get on that track?”
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Be Yourself
Tell the truth about yourself. Love yourself, flaws, and all. Do not wish for someone else’s life. They can inspire you, but when you strive to be like them, you miss your own opportunities in the present because you are too busy being focused on the future.
Have confidence that there is an exceptional, valuable someone inside of you.
Don’t be afraid of stepping out of your comfort zone and making mistakes. Be vulnerable to criticism.
Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious. Laugh at yourself and life. And I mean every aspect of yourself, your weaknesses and strengths, successes, failures, habits, good and bad. When you can arrive at this place, you are very much in sync with yourself and life.
Love yourself enough to be detached from the opinions of others. The only opinion that matters is your own. Being human means being fallible yet at the same time always capable of greatness.
So, as you look for joy and purpose in life after 50, don’t lose sight of your life right now. Take notice of everything you have and everything you have learned. Live every day with joy and love your life.
If you liked this article, you might also like her new eBook. Deb has recently published an eBook titled “Your Most Amazing Journey: Five Power Principles Based on Universal Laws to Transform Your Life.” Check it out here on Amazon.