Something about incoming warmer weather really gives me the urge to spring clean. Plus, we are going to be doing a little renovation, so it’s time to pare things down. Looking around the house, I’m sure most people feel similar in February – there are maybe whole rooms that need attention. For empty nesters, however, the urge to spring clean can have an entirely different set of attached emotions and complications.
On one hand, you’re not cleaning up after anyone else anymore, but on the other, now you have to face the reality that your mess is entirely your own. This brings up many situations where, instead of putting something away, you have to evaluate if you still want to keep it. It becomes far more complicated than simply tidying up.
Spring Cleaning Your Empty Nest
Whether you’re fully transitioned into an empty nest or your little birds are about to fly the coop, these tips can help you make the most of your spring cleaning.
Start as you always would
At this point in your life, you probably have cleaning your home down to a science. Like a reverse-tornado, you roll through rooms and in your wake, they’re organized, spotless, and smelling like citrus.
Okay, maybe you’re not Mary Poppins, but you almost certainly have a routine that works for you. Start as you normally would, even if you still have the kids around for a bit longer. This will help you begin your spring cleaning from a place of organization, because it can be hard to do meaningful work in a cluttered, unorganized mess.
Once your house is cleaned to your normal standard, the real work of empty nest cleaning can begin,
Spring cleaning decades of life
Whether your children move out entirely or simply leave for college, many pieces of them remain. You might have boxes of grade school drawings, high school sports trophies, and years of hand-made presents. You might be surprised to find out that they probably don’t care about this stuff. Sure, some things might hold some significant sentimentality, but the majority of the things we keep as parents probably could be let go.
One way to figure out what’s trash and what’s treasure is to simply ask your kids. During this process of figuring out what’s important to them, you’ll often discover that it’s not really as important to either of you as it once was. It’s not calloused or uncaring to get rid of old school stuff; it just doesn’t make sense to have boxes and totes of stuff stored in your basement or attic that nobody ever looks at or touches.
One strategy for making the process of parting with child-artifacts is to take photos of the stuff. Pull out those great 6-year-old’s paintings and snap a picture. You can organize them in a folder, or even print them off and put them in an album. They will take up significantly less space, be held forever in a digital medium, and you won’t feel bad about getting rid of them. If your kids were worried about them, they will likely love this idea as well.
What to do if your adult children still want their stuff
If they’re going away to college and will be back, then obviously you don’t need to get rid of their things. But if your kids are fully moving out but want to hold onto big mountains of their stuff (and assuming you don’t want to), you can employ a few strategies.
One thing to do is give them a deadline to get their belongings. It’s understandable that they might not want to bring them when they first move, but eventually they will have space. You can also suggest they rent a storage locker to move it all to.
My husband’s first instinct is to pack it all up and bring it to their house! It’s their problem now. I’m a bit more cautious. Do they really have room for it? Who’s right? In either case, it needs to be organized.
If they’re set on you holding onto it, it’s still worth doing the decluttering exercise I talked about, because at least it will lessen the amount of space it’s taking up. After a time, if they’ve still not made a move on it, reinforce your deadline; they’re adults, and can handle a little nudge.
Take stock of what you want to keep yourself
I mentioned it will be emotional and possibly difficult to get rid of a lot of stuff during your first empty-nest spring cleaning, but it’s necessary. Once you’ve gotten past the kid’s stuff, now you need to evaluate your own belongings. If you have a partner, this can be easier, as they will help you be a bit more objective in your reasoning for keeping certain things.
Go room to room and evaluate the stuff you don’t ever use with these criteria:
- Why do I have this?
- Where did it come from?
- What is its purpose?
- When was the last time I used it?
- Do I foresee myself using it in the future (realistically) – this is the part where your partner or a friend can help you be objective
- Is this something my future grandchildren might play with?
This spring cleaning exercise frames your belongings in a way that forces you to truly justify holding onto them or gives you a reason to let go. Sure, that crystal punch bowl from your wedding is beautiful, but have you ever actually used it? (I still have so much crystal from my wedding 33 years ago!)
One extra positive spin for decluttering your home in this way is that it gives you the opportunity to make some money on your old, unused stuff. A garage sale or an online marketplace are quick, relatively painless ways to turn your clutter into cash. This is a great incentive to be a little less sentimental and a bit more practical when evaluating your various items.
Use your imagination to help inspire you
If you’re having trouble cleaning out your empty nest, just imagine what you can do once it’s fully decluttered. Would you want an exercise room to yourself? Maybe a space for various hobbies, or just a free area to put plants, a television, and a small table for books and coffee.
Well, you can do any of those great things until all the stuff is gone. Sometimes imagining what an area will be like once it’s cleaned is a great incentive to do the work. Every time you walk into your kid’s old bedroom and imagine a painting studio, you’ll get a little burst of energy to declutter.
Equally, consider thinking about redecorating, painting, or generally remodeling spaces that are currently occupied by stuff. Even if you don’t have concrete plans for the space, it would be nice to have a big change, and deep spring cleaning is your first step towards that.
Spring cleaning for empty nesters can be a rebirth
It might not change your life overly dramatically, but an intense spring cleaning after your kids move out can absolutely change the space where you live. Human brains work better when they’re not surrounded by chaos and clutter, and you might find you have more energy or more zest for life after you’ve done a deep clean. If you’re one who struggles with self care, this can be a great first step to making it a priority again!
Along those lines, I very much recommend you check out out my Self Care for Empty Nesters ebook:
Finding ways to focus on what really matters, asking your kids what they want to keep, and then donating or trashing the rest can be emotional but necessary. Take photos of the things you want to remember, because digital or print copies are so much smaller to store. And if your kids want to keep their stuff, put it on them to deal with – get storage outside your home, or have them come pick it all up.
Spring cleaning an empty nest is a big task even if you have a partner to help, but it can be invigorating and liberating. It gives you the space to reimagine your home and the individual rooms in a way that’s not dominated by your kids.
Being an empty nester is exciting but emotional, scary but freeing, and cleaning the space is the first step to reclaiming it as your own again.
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