Midlife is a time to reassess what you are doing and take back some control. Midlife can be a pivotal time in life when you realize you need to start doing things for yourself. Your life has been consumed with caring for others and making sure everyone else’s needs are met. It’s time for you! So, I want to share the importance of saying no and when to say yes to help you create a more joyful and fulfilling life! Are you ready?
9 Ways to Show the Importance of Saying No
Protects You From Burnout
When you say yes to everything, you must also say no to your own needs and wants. That means your priorities end up falling to the bottom. If this happens continually, you’ll start feeling resentful, grumpy, and tired. And you might start blaming others for your feelings. Burnout can be debilitating and keep you in low energy, which does not help the universe bring you high-energy manifestations.
Lets You Focus on Your Values
When you say “no,” there’s space to focus on your values. Your core values are the standards at the core of who you are—values that you deem important and that will guide your decisions throughout life. They are your individual beliefs that you deeply feel.
If you are not sure what yours are, read this post!
Before you say yes to another committee, project, or use of your time, consider yourself and your values.
Creates Space for Others
It can be tempting to believe that you must do everything. But in reality, you can’t handle every project and request that comes your way. When you try to do it all, you take opportunities from others. Have you ever thought about it that way? Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you have to. Allow someone else who wants it and has room in their life for it to do it.
Another way to look at this is if others are asking you to do things because they know you will do them when it is theirs to do. Teach your kids to do laundry, show your co-workers where the files are, or give your partner a grocery list, and they can stop on their way home.
Protects Your Energy
Women in today’s society are often encouraged to wear a “superhero” cape all the time. They’re expected to be everything to everyone and do it all with a smile and a good attitude.
But you must remember that you have a limited flow of energy when you don’t love what you are doing. This means that when you encounter things that will drain your energy, you need to stand up for yourself and remember the importance of saying no.
I’ve recently given myself permission to be selfish sometimes. It’s necessary to put your own needs first to be available for others.
Related Post: What’s My Human Design Type and Why Does It Matter?
Add Margin to Your Days
The importance of saying no shows up when you are constantly overcommitted, and there is no margin in your life. For example, if you plan back-to-back meetings all day with no margin, you’ll be hungry by the time you hit the end of the day. You’re stressed out. You’re feeling grumpy because you’re overworked.
But when you say no, you create that margin your mind and body desperately need. Use those few moments to breathe and notice if what you are doing is actually your decision. Then, you can show up and bring your best self, energy, and focus.
Related Post: Embracing Vulnerability and Emotions in Midlife
Gives You Confidence
The reason so many women say yes is they want to be liked. But when you realize you can live without the approval and validation of others, it’s entirely freeing. The importance of saying no is amplified when you can feel the effects. When you can feel stronger and see that you feel good about your decisions, it is better than worrying about what anyone else thinks.
Suddenly, your whole world opens up. The moment that you realize this—the moment you realize that you can say no and still have people like you—you become liberated.
Makes Room for Self-Care
It’s common, especially in Western societies, for women to feel like they must always be busy and always be productive. This leaves you very little time or even no time for self-care most days. But when you say “no” to what doesn’t matter, you’re making room for self-care.
Your self-care can look like anything you want it to. Maybe self-care for you means spending one night a week at home reading a book in a bubble bath. Or perhaps it means you have time to take your kids or dog out for a walk after dinner every night. Maybe that makes you really happy, and that’s self-care for you.
As you say “no” more, embrace taking care of yourself. When you’re a priority, amazing things start happening. You show up to events and meetings feeling energized and excited to face the day. You greet challenges with enthusiasm, and you trust yourself to find the best possible solution.
Gives You Back Control
Without a firm “no,” you can feel like your life is spiraling out of control. You feel like everyone else is making decisions for you. You’re busy working on everyone else’s priorities. You’re meeting their needs, yet you don’t feel good about yourself.
Saying “no” gives you back that feeling of control. It reminds you that you are in the driver’s seat of your own life. You are picking and choosing what your priorities are and living according to your values.
Makes Your “Yes” Precious
When you say “no” to the wrong things, you get to say “yes” to the right things. You get to say yes to the things that excite you.
Yes, to the projects that energize you. Yes, to the relationships that fulfill you. Yes, to the dreams and the goals that truly matter to you. Yes, to the values that reflect who you are as a person.
This starts with you. Others will notice, and it will become a ripple effect of everyone saying yes when it matters and no when it is not yours to take. Your life is meant to be fun, adventurous, and happy; you get to create what that looks like.
At its core, the importance of saying no is about letting go of what doesn’t matter and refusing to give it any more space in your life. When you do this, you have the freedom to say “yes” to the things that truly matter to you!
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